Tagged As: Yankees, A-Rod, Barry Bonds, A-Fraud, Hank Aaron, MLB

Alex Rodriguez started as the young superstar A-Rod, signed a huge contract with the New York Yankees and became A-Fraud, and now a Sports Illustrated article has painted him as A-Roid. Suddenly the best option to return some sort of honor to the home run record is guilty of using Primobolon and testosterone. Well, I say that we still root for Choke-Rod to come through and hit the 210 home runs needed to surpass Bonds’ 762.

Why? Why would a fan upset that Bonds was allowed to break Hank Aaron’s record by Bud Selig (and the entire MLB establishment) want another poser, dick, and blight on the game to bring drama to the most hallowed record in sports?

One reason is that it will be hilarious to listen to Barry Bonds reaction to every home run that brings Rodriguez closer to the record. What will Bonds claim? Will Bonds believe that because his guilty pee is sealed by court order that he can call A-Rod out? Will San Francisco Giants fans be hypocritical enough to boo A-Rod when they see him in the Interleague Play? Or, will Bonds be forced to sit silently by as Rodriguez bangs balls out of every park in the league?

The fact is that Bonds will be forced to accept his fate as the number two home run hitter of all time. He has no choice to accept it with a tiny bitter scowl on his giant head as he is asked by ESPN to appear on Sportscenter or Baseball Tonight for three years and is forced to discuss the home run record chase as well as his own legacy. The anchors will have emergency note cards set to the side in case Bonds even mentions the word steroid.

I want to see A-Rod beat the record to watch the downfall of Barry Bonds. That might be vindictive, but it is true. The downfall of Bonds will immediately mean the downfall of A-Rod because the two are linked to steroids for the rest of their lives. Commissioner Selig did nothing to stop Bonds from breaking the record because home runs, especially juiced home runs, sold MLB tickets, and now he must sit on his hands and let a second Roid-marred hitter serve as a terrible reminder that steroids ruined baseball for a decade.

One player using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) can only bring doubt to the new record. Two players using PEDs makes it clear that there was an epidemic. In the process, Hank Aaron’s incredibly consistent career will be celebrated and he will be solidified as the real record holder. Aaron was honorable and diplomatic as Bonds passed him. Now, he will get all his rightful respect back as baseball fans of the future will all know that the two jack*sses in front of him cheated.

So, with that, I wish A-Rod luck over these next nine years at New Yankee Stadium. I wish him luck as he tries and pull a ball over the Green Monster at Fenway. I wish luck as his deep drives make it clearer that Homerun Hank was not only a gentleman, but the best slugger of all time.