Tagged As: NFL, Cowboys, Cardinals, Titans

Sometimes I look at the NFL’s slate of games and think they are kind of the like the typical dysfunctional family gathering. This season, the day looks no different.

The first game features the Detroit Lions and the Tennessee Titans. The Lions have become that drunken uncle or that blatantly racist grandmother we are all ashamed of. Unfortunately, they have to be there. It is probably the only thing they have been looking forward to all year.

Lions fans may not feel like getting tickets to see the team embarrass themselves before the nation, but to disown them would be a greater travesty than whatever terrible confession your uncle tells at the table while he spills his drink all over the expensive tablecloth or whatever uncomfortable comment the aging matriarch makes about your niece’s African-American boyfriend.

The second game is going to be an easy victory for the Dallas Cowboys over the Seattle Seahawks. The Cowboys are that perfect child your parents gloat over. Only instead of your parents, it will be John Madden finding every opportunity to profess his love for Tony Romo and the Dallas defense. The Seahawks get to play the family disappointment. I suspect that half of the Seahawks roster will end up in a bar drinking away the horror that was thrust upon them just a few hours earlier.

The last game of the night will be the Arizona Cardinals and the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles would have been the disappointment after the benching of Donavan McNabb on Sunday, but Seattle took the heat off them. The Cardinals are the sexy new girlfriend the youngest son brings home. She is new, exciting and probably wearing a midriff trying to desperately get everybody’s attention. That offense, with its ageless quarterback and its three headed monster at receiver, is the rave of the NFL, even if they just lost to the Giants.

So, in between your own family drama this Thursday, be happy that you are not alone and watch the games on television, or if you are lucky, watch them from your seats with your NFL tickets.